narcissist and second marriage

He was very violent to me before and I am scared to death that he will come and shoot me. Stop thinking that way. He played his cards well. Stand up for yourself. In case you were unsure of 4, 5 & 6, NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EXN. He is marrying her on the 30 yr anniversary of when he married his deceased wife. I get pregnant with daughter number 2. Not only the fact that Im in love with him, but knowing how he is being treated and knowing from direct experience how it felt and how screwed up my head was back then. Everything, that is, except for his work. Wow this is the exact situation that my ex wife isnt in. So, have enough confidence to put forth what is right and do not back down. A few weeks ago I discovered my Narcissist ex husband and his 4th wife (15yrs his junior) are expecting their first child, his 4th biological child or 8th including stepchildren. Divorcing a Narcissist is the ultimate challenge, The Narcissist Keeps Coming Back and Contacting Me, My Narcissist Boyfriend is Jealous of my Ex. He had new supply lined up way before he discarded me. Saying move forward instead of move on, is so important to hear. What a bunch of pigs. With all of these incidences happening she always paints her exes as the bad guy and how controlling and narcissistic they were. Second only to addiction, McWade claims, narcissism is the ultimate relationship killer and a significant factor in many of the divorce cases she has witnessed. This went on for months and we never even kissed properly. Anything whatsoever that you can say to the NARC, either verbally or in writing or through any third party, is simply giving your EXN a Supply, and you will just end up feeling pain. Glad I did. Ive noticed narcissistic people tend to call other people narcissists frequently, I was the second wife to a narcissist. is compensated for referring traffic and business to these An emotion that is never allowed tp be expressed in a spouse of a narcissist. That is in their nature. Anyhow 3 months ago she came to my office and told me she wants a divorce, she does not love me anymore, and we separated on May 3rd. Ive only ever see her treat him like dirt. He tells me he wants a divorce. I didnt know until now he was one. Both my parents are dead, and I dont want to talk about this with my kids. I had a terrible accident which left me temporarily paralyzed from the waist down. Someone is either single and available or not in my mind. I caught her cheating red handed and left. Now my thinking is this if u are done with an ex and totally really done, then why not tell them, yea, I am taking a guy I am involved with there also, so get on with your life? I was briefly married to a narcissistic man. It is not uncommon to find when a narcissist remarries it is to someone younger to promote their self-image as being younger. 2009:Moves me in to the house he bought for victim number 1. The Narcissist Reaction to Divorce: Protect Yourself Well You would expect a narcissist to stay single or in casual relationships, to be able to pursue their career or talents. Narcissistic dad and my wedding. Need advice : r/narcissisticparents I think she is also a NARC and they feed off of each other well, after the cruise and the Altercation she leaves and has not returned as of yet but comes on the weekends to be a wife and to let him spend time with their 7 month old daughter together. She rarely listens to anything you say when you talk to her and is continually talking about herself and only likes to gossip about others. Its surreal. Most worrying (to me anyway), is that she cant stand his son and complains about how annoying he is when he stays with them. I have recently found out that my ex-wife that i met and married in China then 2 years later came to Canada, my home country, is definitely narcissistic. 2017: July: kids report daddy has a girlfriend. Out of those 5 years my dad has met him twice. We were divorced 4 yrs ago. Rediscovering narcissism and interested to read the above comments. Your life is to be lived with respect to where you have come from but with the greatest courage to love yourself enough to move forward (and find a support system of friends that will help you). So a week ago she went to china to visit her family and a girlfriend of hers accompanied her. Why does he have to portray to the family that he is the good guy and that I have done this bad thing to him by applying for divorce? Her fourth marriage and she is only a few months into 43 years old! I left when I caught her in yet another lie. 2013-2015: Hell day and night. Want to know more? Narcissists tend to end marriages by framing their spouse as the bad guy. Therefore, a narcissist will only associate with others of high status or intellect, for they feel ONLY these people can possibly understand them. He moved in with her two weeks after moving out of our house. The vows in our wedding that my second husband and I spoke were the ones we created to take us through our life journey ahead we took a class called saving your second marriage before it starts.I had a great job and worked with hundreds of people each week as a staff member at a large church.we were married by our pastor.then when I got sick with no reason why shortly after the miraculous birth of our only child he began to avoid me.shortly thereafter he began to ask for a divorce.his sex supply when I became sick was diminished to next to nothing .I needed love and support and he was not concerned with that.He sued me for divorce after 11 years of marriage and found his new girlfriend one year before that.the message I got is that his need for affirmation is paramount in any way he can get it and I was unable to give it to himso he found his next form of supplywhat did I do wrong? He asks not what he can do for the world but what the world can do for him as far as Narcissistic Supply goes. You will have been working on yourself, exercising, getting stronger, doing all those things youd put off and seeing all those people you hadnt seen while you were with him. The silence is a strange and cruel behavior that is harder to forgive, not the silence towards me, but the silence toward my daughter. I learned about flying monkeys. Their need for this is related to their lack of independent self esteem or intrinsic sense of self worth. He didnt care that I was divorcing him as he already had a new girlfriend. Thats because Im not the narcissist you tried to make me out to be. This July he stopped paying me. My family and I have been trying to pinpoint what exactly her mental problems are and have figured that Narcissism could be a possibility. Narcissists often rush into marriage and then a remarriage. In our old house he was quick to move me out of. I contacted Legal Aid and am hoping to get my back support and my $100 back. The NARC will continue to try to elicit responses from you, as these maintain their control over you, and helps feed their supply needs 4. While having self-confidence or wanting to be acknowledged by others is normal, people with narcissistic personality disorder often take things to extremes. Everything my ex accused me of, I just apologised for, agreed with her, and just went on my way. And then the next day she just argues and calls me loser, stupid, etc. She got him a car he takes his children to their moms and they go on vacation. Some reasons that a narcissist might have to remarry include . Use one of these aspects as a benchmark to convince your spouse to get help. We lived in his house (he refused to get a mutual home). They met on the internet. Sounds great right???? I dont know if your wife is a narcissist or has other issues. After about a year of this cat and mouse game I got fed up and applied for divorce. Having dated my own narcissist, I believe them leaving is the far better option, albeit still painful. How I was so inept and useless. His career is his only place of stability. This might look like your spouse trying to manipulate your life or gain power over you in obvious ways. I could go one forever with these storiesits like a bad movie!!! Usually they will continue with the same behavior as before. We had been together for 2 years before getting married, I was 18 years old at the time and pregnant with our first child (eventually we had two children), and we were married for 7 years. I pray the next victim does not have children. U will feel better. And hed pretend like nothing ever happened. While a narcissist does have hope for change, which competent support of a counselor or coach, it is unlikely that they will change. What a f*cking head case! Im wondering sometimes if she was just using me as a plaything and wasnt necessarily a narcissist at all. Everyone should set a point for themselves where enough is enough. Well put, Ive never thought of it that way. So many may then why do you keep trying to contact me. If they leave, at least you can get therapy and start over with a clean-ish break. Need advice : r/narcissisticparents. I wish my soon to be ex-husband could have that much insight! By now he was cheating ( if not from the beginning!) Everything, that is, except for his work. I waited until September to see if would start paying me again and he didnt, so I found his phone number online and called him. 8 Common "Narcissistic Marriage" Problems And How To Handle Them No, his divorce was final and we got married 10 days later. Not sure if like atteacts like in cases like this or what. I am going through a divorce right now. I didnt get that much financial support in the settlement, just $100.00. Amazon.com. Since then there have been a few other times where i, with real good reasons, suspect she cheated. Her oldest sons gf was pregnant, so she wanted a kid then too. Then why did he leave the first wife if she was a door mat? Oh my gosh, were we married to the same man?! Do you think if she really liked him/was in awe of him shed modify her behaviour to suit? Always said it was in her fantasy to have great sex with me but when it came to action Promised a few weeks ago that FINALLY she would have time for usShe cancelled yet another meeting and I read her the riot act listing all the things she was/did: self-righteous/lacking empathy/insensitive/never observing boundaries etc. Share your concerns with your spouse. It seemed grand until my son was born then the cracks appeared, I wanted her for just me. Yet he gave them alllll too me. So what i am looking for is a somewhat analysis of what other people think of this whole situation and what they feel was really going on. I think she felt reluctantly obligated caring for us while our father was alive but after, not so much. Little did I know narcs equate stability with BOREDOM. He left me in the emergency room and never came back. Im rid of her and she married the idiot. Narcissistic abuse is a type of emotional abuse where the abuser only cares about themselves and may use words and actions to manipulate their partner's behavior and emotional state. I was finally rid of him, I bought a house for my daughter and I. NO CONTACT, NO COMMUNICATION 7. If his new source provides him with the ability to obtain that which he could not achieve on his own, he will go to great lengths to secure this as a constant source of Narcissistic Supply. You take his calls and end up being there for him emotionally thinking hell see the light and come back to you. I was floored and told him he was nuts . She is a widow. Cost-inflicting narcissists rely on the use of bullying and . I had enough. No respect. I know how perceptive children are, and if she is even a fraction as abusive towards him as she is towards her husband, then I really feel for the kid. Let go of your financial input like the health insurance etc. I later found out he had very recently remarried, so I backed off. To an extent such that they end up disregarding everyone else and focusing merely on their pleasures and needs. There is almost nothing a narcissist wont do if he thinks it will bring him fame. But while he is still earning a decent salary, she wont actually leave him. Often, he can keep her guessing and trying to make things work for years or even decades. Daughter is born. Shes teasing with her provocative comments and endless selfies. Narcissists do not enter or stay in relationships for love. 2016: Leave the marriage. But neither of us have ever made a move. Truly move on, dont wait for them to come back because if they do it will only be for self serving reasons. We tried, or I should say I tried, and I could tell it seemed like to me he was living a different life. But hugs to you until that day comes because it feels terrible until then. Can you expect them to get better? What a joke. I feel a certain amount of guilt knowing this marriage will end like the others have and there is nothing I can do or say to stop the destruction of another family. An additional point to make is that the narcissist considers himself special and not understood by just anyone. I dont know the Narcissists new wife, but was friends with his first wife and she was a total door mat to him. In 2011 I married him. If you marry a narcissistyou will be uniting with a person who does not have empathy. But, they do enjoy having someone near too. There is a lack of sincere empathy for others, especially those closest to them. They either leave or cheat. Narcissists do get into romantic relationships. At first it was really hard but taking the time to get to know myself, focus on my children and recovery was the best choice Ive ever made! First, narcissists always have motives. For all those wondering what they did wrong.the answer is loved someone who has not learned to love themselves.love is not on the narcissist list of needs.only the external supply they need to power themselveseither give it to them and let yourself be depleted until you stop being you or respect yourself enough to simply let them be who they are and cut your losses and walk away NOW! She is incredibly blatant about trying to cheat. Look these pigs will never change and ladies look out bc they are master manipulators liars and cheaters. It feels good to finally get a word inbut yet not the healthiest to respond in length to his lies even in writing.How long will this last? September: kids report Girlfriend will be their new mommy. But, being married to a narcissist means you will be taking part of a daily struggle. He needed that status of me leaving him. How did I become the enemy if he is finally getting his freedom? Ive lost count of the times she promised to visit me and would then text me at the last minute to cancel.